Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
