im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
