Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
