Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize