i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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