Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
