.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
