Pappa wants mamma naked
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
