shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
