It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize