there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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