i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
