then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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