He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
