we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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