i permit you to call me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
