Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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