What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
