i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
