also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
