Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
