i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
