I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I understand Curling. That high.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
