u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
