I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
