well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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