I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
