Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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