Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
