You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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