I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize