And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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