I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
