so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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