my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
