i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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