I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
