That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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