I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
