Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
