Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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