I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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