Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
