Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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