I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
