i just google imaged poop.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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