I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
