i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
