I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
