i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
