bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
