I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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