she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
