He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
