And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
