Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
