she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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