it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
