Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
