I think scott just propositioned me for sex
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
