3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
