people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
