i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
