Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
