I'd wear matching sweaters with you
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
